"maybe you wouldnt be so tired if you went to bed earl-"
THUNDERSTORMS ARE PERFECT OPPORTUNITIES TO CUDDLE.
WHAT IF THE POWER GOES OUT.
LETS MAKE A FORT.
DID LIGHTNING JUST SHOOT THROUGH OUR WINDOW?
LETS MAKE OUT.
Winter Soldier AU where Steve never rips the mask off the winter soldier so he never learns that it’s Bucky and he ends up killing him and after he’s dead Steve takes off the mask and realizes what he’s done
AU where u never wrote this fucked up post
clint barton is my favorite avenger because he’s the type of guy to fall down and yell “PARKOUR”
those jerks at culinary school always called me a weanie but look at me now
i had a book when i was a kid where u could write ur own knock knock jokes and im still laughing at it
My thighs are huge cuz they’re full of secrets
Wrap them around my ears and let me hear them all
Smooth as fuck
driving is so dangerous ur literally controlling a giant metal contraption with a circle and some foot buttons
nothing annoys me more than people being like “LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE” when you find something offensive or disgusting like where am i learning to take this joke? to the fucking trash where it belongs?
This one is for Blake that fucking dickwad
yeah fuck you blake
*white 20-something on tumblr voice* buy me pizza and touch my butt I’m so lonely netflix
This is legit.
More PSAs need to stop worrying about offending people and get down to the nitty gritty like this. It’s the only way to open so many eyes.
If people are offended, they are probably guilty.
On my first day working at Disney World I went into the bathroom and accidentally smacked right into Snow White, and she went “Oh fuck!” and almost dropped her Red Bull and that was the beginning of the best job I’ve ever had.
On my first day I was walking and ran into Ariel drinking Starbucks and she said “What’s up bitches”
I want to work at Disney